It was one drunken night in February when it happened. I kept hearing this ringing voice in my head mocking me, robbing me of my sanity, getting louder and louder until I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to silence her... so I did. Honestly, I didn't mean to make the mess I made. At first I felt remorse because I didn't really know what it would mean once she was gone. How many people would mourn the lost? Who society would now paint me as? Here lies... Beloved Sister, Friend, and Daughter. College dropout, imposter syndrome victim, cold-hearted, narcissistic perfectionist, and triggered alcoholic... May she rest in heavenly peace.....
Dramatic... I know 😂
But hear me out. My journey of transformation did in fact start in February when I unintentionally made the conscious effort to "kill" my old self. It was that very voice I described that pushed me to just make the move to leveling up into my higher self. It was something I knew I needed to do. So although, my actions seemed sudden to most it was ultimately an inevitable event that could not be delayed any further. Until I took charge of my life I was consistently sad, depressed, victimizing, and overall just a big ball of unstable emotions roller coasting through everyday life. I'd like to save you the time and trouble; and let you know some of the signs I completely ignored when it was my time to pack up my stuff and evolve.
1. Your Sick and Tired
How many times have you told yourself you were done with something but yet you continued to entertain the energy in a situation despite the promise you made to yourself. Tired of being broke. Sick of being overweight. Tired of feeling overlooked. Simply just sick and tired of being sick and tired. At some point in time you have to make the commit to yourself that that behavior or feeling will no longer control your life. When that day comes so will change. Wake up and choose you everyday - even on the days you don't want to. You cannot wait around in hopes that your blessings will find you. Go create those opportunities for yourself. How bad do you want to improve your life? Giving your energy into the same cycles that no longer serve you will not lead you to a path of abundance. Change is hard but so is stagnation. Choose your hard.
2. You Don't Want to Be Around Your Friends Anymore
If you look around and your circle of friends do not align to your vision then the proof is in the pudding. As the saying goes, you are the product of the top five people you surround yourself with. Why would you continue to soak in energy that is contradictory to your goals and aspirations. Seek out your tribe. This can be a grueling process and slightly intimidating attempting to put yourself out there in hopes your ideal girl gang will magically see you, fall in love at first sight, and welcome you with open arms. First, do some inner work and figure out what our looking for in a relationship (friendships... are just as important and need just as much love and effort as a romantic partnership). Go to events and places, or indulge in activities that share your interest and values to find like-minded individuals. Be brilliant, charismatic, and your authentic self. Your high vibrations will gravitate to what you desire, I promise.
3. You Desire to Change Your Environment
Have you ever just been in a room and realized this ain't where it's at anymore. I literally would feel uncomfortable in certain places or situations I used to thrive in. I found myself looking around and understanding my value was higher than my current circumstances. In this moment, I needed to uproot myself into the rooms where my spirit and mind aligned. I say this, if the person, place, or thing doesn't scare or intimidate you, will you grow? A word of advice, while you are elevating into higher value experiences - try not to make anyone around you feel bad for still being at the level and journey they are currently on. Although, your deciding to make a change for yourself; others may not be ready for that journey themselves. Your journey is your own. You can share it if you choose but I believe the best things are better left unsaid.
4. You Want to Change Your Mindset
Once you find yourself seeking out knowledge about topics that can improve your skill sets, mental and/or physical health, and overall well-being your ready to move up in life. Investing in yourself is the key to elevation and expansion. You know who you are now but the real question is, who could you be? That question alone is what ignited a fire in me that nobody but me could feel. You are the architect of your life. Once you take accountability for the suffering that you may have caused yourself in the past the future seems a lot brighter knowing how in control you are of your dream life. Work on healing your traumas. Do the hard work in self exploration. Feed your mind and spirit with soul food. I started listening to podcast and ted talks that reflected positive affirmations and increased my emotion intelligence. Read books that elevate your self worth and financial values.
5. Your Goals and Aspirations Matured
Look at you girl... wanting more for yourself. Finally you start thinking BIG FISH! I'm talking ownership, investing, new business ventures, job promotions, honey you are all about your personal growth. I wish this for you and all my homegirls. That feeling of waking up with an emergency fund, your stocks, home equity, or 401(k) is up, or looking at an offer letter from your dream job just hits different. The real flex as a woman is having your own. Your own peace of mind to be exact. A woman with ambition will win everytime because it's not about hitting every goal on your list , it's really about the journey. The drive to success is just a thrill. Expanding your reach and territory is what will propel you to the best version of yourself. Create a vision board or grab a journal and write out some short term/long term achievements you want to strive for. The possibilities are endless as long as you have the ambition to work behind it.
I'd like to bid you ado but first I'd like to encourage you to just jump... and let the net appear. You have literally nothing to lose but even more to gain. If this level up journey is something you'd like to actively pursue then good luck! The first step maybe the hardest so I challenge you to write a eulogy to your 'old' self. Embrace the bad with the good and practice patience, cleanse yourself of those traumas to welcome the healing, and start looking down at the inside of you and figure out 'what is 'in' me that is keeping me from my full potential/happiness?'
As we part ways to your low vibrating self, please allow me to dedicate this song as the start to the eulogy of your 'old' self. Remember your best self is on the other side of this dark beautiful twisted ending. Welcome to Elevation
***For the best results(vibes), close your eyes, open your heart, and listen***